"Dance Like Someone's Watching"

July 15, 2012

Old Testament Reading: 2 Samuel 6:12-23

12 It was told King David, ‘The Lord has blessed the household of Obed-edom and all that belongs to him, because of the ark of God.’ So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the city of David with rejoicing; ¹³and when those who bore the ark of the Lord had gone six paces, he sacrificed an ox and a fatling. ¹⁴David danced before the Lord with all his might; David was girded with a linen ephod. ¹⁵So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet.  

16 As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal daughter of Saul looked out of the window, and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.

17 They brought in the ark of the Lord, and set it in its place, inside the tent that David had pitched for it; and David offered burnt-offerings and offerings of well-being before the Lord. ¹⁸When David had finished offering the burnt-offerings and the offerings of well-being, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts, ¹⁹and distributed food among all the people, the whole multitude of Israel, both men and women, to each a cake of bread, a portion of meat, and a cake of raisins. Then all the people went back to their homes. 20 David returned to bless his household.

But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, ‘How the king of Israel honoured himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants’ maids, as any vulgar fellow might shamelessly uncover himself!’ ²¹David said to Michal, ‘It was before the Lord, who chose me in place of your father and all his household, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord, that I have danced before the Lord. ²²I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in my own eyes; but by the maids of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honour.’

²³And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death. 

Sermon: “Dance Like Someone’s Watching”

I suppose I should feel honored that I’m even mentioned by name at all.  After all, in that international bestseller, there are an estimated 1,181 men mentioned by name, and only around 94 of us women who make the cut to be named (unlike the unfortunate “hemorrhaging woman” and “adulterous woman.”) 

I suppose I should be grateful, instead of frustrated by how my name is constantly mispronounced, like “Michael” Jackson, or “Michael” Jordan.  It’s Mee-chal, y’all.  And you’ve probably heard something of my story from the perspective of the men in my life who passed me around like a political pawn: Saul, my father, and David, my husband.  Now him, I know you’ve heard of. 

Today, I’m setting the record straight.  These days you have a phrase that describes a bit of my story, say it with me: “Hell hath no fury like…a woman scorned.”  I might have written that when I watched David bring in the ark of the Lord, and then proceed to lewdly dance around it, more aware of the ogling slave girls around him than the presence of God, the King of all.  Hell hath no fury, indeed.

As he came home to “bless” our household (the nerve!), I marched right out and gave that arrogant man a piece of my mind.  History has recorded it as the rant of an “emotional” woman who couldn’t appreciate the joyful worship of God.  Please!  That’s absurd.  I don’t worship like a bellydancer, and so I expect my husband not to worship like someone paid only in one dollar bills! 

My outburst was the cumulative effect of years of frustration with David.  (We women do know how to hang onto past irritations, you know.)  With how we started, I never imagined we would wind up where we did. 

I fell in love with David the first time I saw him.  Sure, I knew that our marriage was a political transaction between my dad Saul and him to form an ally.  But even being handed over to David like a prize (which he paid my father for in foreskins, ah romance) I was smitten.  David approached all of his life with absolute passion, and that was infectious.

I suppose I should’ve realized just how infectious that passion was with other women.  Of course, I wasn’t David’s only wife, in those days we didn’t get a man all to ourselves.  Marriage was sort of a hobby for David: there were also Abigail, Ahinoam, Maachah, Haggith, Abital, Eglah and, oh yes, Bathsheba.

I know it sounds naïve to say, but David and I had something special.  I don’t think I ever stopped loving him.  Even when I despised him.  That love led me to protect him when my father went crazy and tried to kill him.  I snuck him out the window and took an idol that was in the room already (boy, have theologians had a field day with that impulsive action) and put it in his bed to deceive his attackers.  I protected him.  I wish he had done the same for me.

When he decided to marry Abigail, I was cast off like yesterday’s dirty laundry and given to Paltiel as his wife.  No “thank you” for all I had done for David, that he wouldn’t even be alive without me.  No acknowledgement of my love for him.  Just traded like a baseball card.  Though I lost respect for David, I still wept for him.  I missed him.  The text doesn’t tell you that, of course.  You see, I was never intended to be the center of this story: David was.  If I’m not around him, I’m not in the picture at all.

But I did come back into the picture.  I got traded again, like Jason Kidd to the Knicks.  David was going to be King now that my dad had passed away and wanted me back.  For a fleeting moment I hoped it was because he had missed me, too.  Of course, his motivation was political: to establish himself as the new king he had to own all the property of the last ruling king, including me.  Hell hath no fury.

So you see, that day when the man I loved, even though he rarely showed me any love, marched into the city wearing nothing but a flimsy linen loincloth and leapt around for all to see, it was the last straw.  My only hope of dignity as a woman lay in that man, and it was lost as he paraded himself in that way.  I did not take offense to the ark of the Lord.  I took offense to a husband who knew no limit to his arrogance.

His response to my rant was as expected, he was a politician after all.  He spun it to all be my fault, my misunderstanding of what was happening, like I was just criticizing his “contemporary worship style.”

“It was before the Lord, who chose me in place of your father and all his household, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord, that I have danced before the Lord.” he said.  I think the reference to my father was just meant to hurt me. 

And then he continued defensively, “I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in my own eyes; but by the maids of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor.”  Held…in… honor.   Oh, I bet those maids held him in all sorts of ways. 

And then my story in your famous book ends by telling you that I, Michal, daughter of Saul, wife of David, only remembered because of the men who used me, was barren, had no children and died.  Your version makes it sound like my barrenness was my punishment for confronting my husband, or for not appreciating the worship of Yahweh.  A final insult to my memory.

I tell you the truth of my story not because I want to be seen as the hero or the victim (Lord knows I made plenty of mistakes in my life).  I tell you my story, so that you will understand what really happened that day David danced, when years and years of pain were brought to the surface.  That I spoke up not just for myself but for the right worship of God, that is about acknowledging the greatness of the King of the Universe, and not the greatness of earthly kings. 

You may call it “decently and in order” these days, but it simply means that following God in a way that alienates and dehumanizes others is not following God.  A community that lets politics trump compassion is not being faithful.  Worship that baptizes our worst habits of pride and ego as “holy” is not worship. 

So, I urge you to remember me, Michal, not just as David’s wife or Saul’s daughter, but as a woman who spoke up when women didn’t speak up, who protected those she loved even if they didn’t return the favor, who knew what was, and was not, true worship. 

May the God who was long before any of us existed, who was there the day David danced and I spoke up, and who has continued to breathe hope and light into troubled human history from my time until yours and beyond it, bless you.  And may you dance with joy and dignity as you worship God, our true King.  Amen.